TDA Stage 73 – No Sugar Coating

Well it had to happen eventually. Not every day can be an amazing enjoyable experience when your out on the road for four months. Today started interesting enough, our first day of cycling in Namibia. I was looking forward to what the country would offer up, and it offered us a wall of fog. Well…that’s a first for this trip. It was like something out of a Steven King novel. For the first hour of cycling you couldn’t see much more than 200 meters ahead, everything else was just a white void.  Then we emerged out into the sunny status quo for the trip. The temperature was nice and cool and the wind was very minor cross-wind. It made cycling slower but not terribly difficult. Everyone was taking the day nice and easy after our big 208km yesterday, lots of weary legs! Then about 20km after lunch, things just got nasty. We made a right turn onto the Trans-Kalahari Highway and were smacked in the face with a howling headwind. I actually had to pedal down a fairly generous hill to keep from stopping. The next 50km to camp was a relentless battle against the wind. At some points I was struggling along a flat road at 16km/hr. Without a headwind I’d be doing a easy 27km/hr. The last bit of road seemed to drag on forever, my tired legs groaning at me with each pedal stroke. Finally, at about 2:30pm, I rolled into camp and plopped myself down on a chair. The day had taken me almost as long to ride as yesterday, and I did almost 45 fewer kilometres. I’m not going to kid myself, tomorrow will probably be similar, same distance, with twice as much climbing. Thankfully it’s our last day of this section and we will have a double rest day in Windhoek. Everyone is going to be pooped and very happy to have a break.

Emerging from the fog…

TDA Stage 72 – Long and Hard

Well, I survived the night. The rain stopped shortly after I posted to my blog, and the tent even dried overnight. Today was our longest day of the tour, 208km! A huge ride, that was for most riders the longest ride they’ve ever done (myself included). I decided that I was going to put my head down and push all the way, hard. I loaded up my water bottles with Coke and watered down mango juice, then it was off to tackle the toughest part, the sandy 3km out of camp. As I suspected, the rain from last night made the ride out slightly easier. It was still a tough struggle and I took my one and only break of the day (excluding lunch) after I got to the paved road. From there I pushed hard all the way to lunch at 80km. Not wanting to lose my momentum, I took a short lunch and hopped right back on the bike. After lunch, it was 128km to the end of the day, and the end of Botswana. We’ve finished country number eight and have passed into country number nine, Namibia. The border process was trivial, two offices, two stamps and done. Im going to miss the peaceful roads of Botswana, but I’m looking forward to what Namibia has to offer.  I rolled into camp just before 3pm, completely spent from the long, hard pushing. The reward for being early was a prime tent spot, and extra time to rest.

Electrifying!

In camp we were greeted with another spectacular evening thunderstorm, right at sunset. The sky was all lit up with different shades of orange and we could see the massive thunderhead approaching. It was truly a spectacular sight as it rolled down the hill towards us. It didn’t rain particularly hard but the lightning was impressive. I ate my dinner under the shelter of one of the camps rental huts, and enjoyed the light show. I managed to pitch my tent under a covered bbq area, so it stayed nice and dry. It’s going to be a nice comfy night. The legs need sleepy times!

TDA Stage 71 – Prelude to Armageddon

That’s a very overly dramatic title for a easy day on the bike, however as I lay in my tent writing this, huge dark clouds have encircled our camp. Lightning is flashing all around us and the rain is coming down hard. Every few seconds I’m bathed in an orange glow as the flashes of lightning illuminate the inside of my tent. It would have been amazing to ride in this. Man verses nature, the storm lashing me with wind and rain as I yell back at it, challenging it to “bring it on!” A cliché right out of some movie. However I’m sure this storm will peter out in an hour or so. The storm comes as no surprise either, it’s been brewing on the horizon for several hours. I even dug a little trench around my tent to divert water, although with all the dry ground and sand, I doubt it will be needed. 

This rain will make the ride out of camp tomorrow interesting though. The hardest part of today was not the 141km of road, but the last three kilometres into camp. It was all sand, and as one rider put it, “that wasn’t a road, it’s a beach!” Riding back out on it will be interesting. I’m hoping it will actually be a bit easier, the wet sand might be a bit firmer. We shall see.

TDA Stage 70 – At Peace

I have to say, I’m really impressed with Botswana. The landscapes are pretty dull (it’s pancake flat with small trees and the odd towering baobab tree) but the wildlife has been spectacular.  Also the long, straight, flat roads are very quiet and are not riddled with screaming children. It’s very peaceful riding, much like Sudan was, minus the nutty heat. I know for me, the constant barrage of children shouting things wears me down, regardless if it’s a positive “How are you?” or the negative, “give me money”.  The country itself seems fairly together too (excluding the abysmal cell coverage). It’s interesting to see how each country differs in its successes and failures and how they exploit what natural resources they have, whether it’s tourism or actual mined materials. Once I’ve finished the trip, I’m definitely going to revisit each countries pluses and minuses. Until then I’ll just enjoy them one day at a time. 

Thank goodness!


TDA Rest Day – Maun

So what kinds of exciting things do I do on rest days? It’s not all just pyramids and bungee jumping. There are other exciting things like bike maintenance and laundry. Laundry you say!? Tell me more! Well it’s a very complicated process involving a bucket, some water, washing powder, manual labour and the cruel unyielding rays of the sun.

Part one usually involves waiting for the bucket. There are three or four laundry buckets and 40+ people who need them. Sometimes the wait can be a while. I usually pick I time that’s low volume so I don’t have to wait, either right when I get into the rest day camp (getting into camp early gives you the perks of the best tent spots and early access to washing buckets!), or about 10am the following day. 

Filler up!

With bucket in hand, it’s off to the nearest water source. Every rest day camp site has at least one. Next, fill said bucket and dump your filthy, dirty, salty, sweat stained clothing into it. Swirl water around and watch the colour change from clear to brown. Dump water, toss in some washing powder and refill the bucket with water. Watch the clear soapy water go instantly brown. Dump water again. Refill bucket and rinse. Watch the water go only slightly less brown. Dump, refill, grumble that the water is still going brown and just give up, it’s clean enough. 

Not a cup of coffee!

Now you have to find a sunny spot to hang your cloths line…you brought one right? If not, you can almost always beg to rent out some space on someone else’s line. 

High and dry-ing

Now you can wring the last of the brown water out of your clothing and hang them in the unforgiving rays of the sun, to dry. Depending on the temperature, humidity and angle of the sun, it can take anywhere between 5 seconds and two days to dry. Oh, and don’t forget cloths pegs, or you will be starting from scratch when your “clean” clothing lands in the dirt after a strong gust of wind. 

TDA Stage 69 – Go West

Last night we had a few elephants wander past the edge of camp just after sunset. Unfortunately it was on the other side of the camp from me and I didn’t see them. I did hear the excited whispers from others around camp. 

Is that plane crashing?

We have been heading almost due west now for two full days and geographically we are almost in the center of the southern part of the African continent.  Looking back at our route, up until this point, I’m amazed we’ve all made it this far with relatively few problems. Yesterday we crossed the 8000km mark. The rest should be easy, right? Well, todays ride was easy on paper but anything but easy In reality.  Despite an almost pancake flat road for the entire 135km, a large section of it was pockmarked with hundreds of potholes. A few years ago the entire section of road was flooded in a very rainy season. That meant the flood plane we have been riding across was under close to six feet (2m) of water. The mind boggles at that volume of water falling from the sky in a very short period of time. After the potholes cleared up, we were introduced to a beautiful new section of road, but that’s when the head winds kicked in. The last half of the day was a struggle. No wildlife to distract, no variety in the terrain, just a long slow plod towards our rest day camp. And finally, as if to add insult to injury, the last 200 meters into camp were covered in nearly impassible sand. My tires actually sank in above the rims as I struggled through the thick very soft sand. There was a nice reward at the end though. Maun, the city we are staying in, has some wonderful gas stations with lots of ice cream bars. I had three on the way through. It was a nice little cool down at the end of a long, hot day.

TDA Stage 68 – Miracle Diet

Would you like to eat anything you want, sit around all day and lose weight? Well, with the TDA Miracle Diet, you can! Eat up to 5000 calories a day of whatever your heart desires. A litre of ice cream? No problem. A gallon of Coca-Cola? Sure! A pound of chocolate? Go right ahead. With TDA’s patented 88 stage process you can consume obscene amounts of food and watch the fat melt away. Don’t take our word for it, listen to a real TDA client:

“I’ve been on the TDA Miracle Diet for just over three months now, and I’ve lost almost 15lbs, all while eating tub after tub of ice cream, and ridiculous amounts of Coke, all while sitting on my ass!* I may be in the best shape of my life.”

Scott Burton TDA 2019
Eat all this and more!

Unlike other unsuccessful diet programs like Weight Watchers, or Jenny Craig, the TDA Miracle Diet INCLUDES the cost of food. That’s right, three huge meals a day with seconds, thirds and even fourth helpings. Don’t delay, operators are standing by now. Be one of the first 30 people to sign up and receive a free “gift”** when you enter Ethiopia that will help you lose even more weight. Call now!

*Sitting on your ass, must be done on a bicycle seat while riding 12,000km

**having visited Ethiopia prior to the start of TDA may exempt you from the free “gift”.  

TDA Stage 67 – Charge!

I’m so disappointed. Today I saw three elephants and NONE of them were driving vehicles. Elephant highway, my ass! The only animals I saw operating vehicles were a bunch of monkeys riding bicycles.

All kidding aside, today was a interesting day. It started about 3am with some medium sized animal darting past my tent close enough to kick up a sprinkle of dirt that hit it. I’m guessing that it was a impala or something similar. It was moving fast and was gone before I was half awake. The rest of the morning was like any other morning, pack up the tent, grab breakfast and hit the road hoping to see some wildlife. Unlike yesterday, there wasn’t a pack of baboons parked at the camp exit, nor was there a herd of impala racing across the tarmac a few kilometres down the road. In fact, I didn’t see a single animal till after our lunch break. Finally about 20km out from lunch I saw a huge bull elephant wandering behind a small wire fence set back from the road. I stopped and watched it walk by me in the opposite direction I was traveling. It completely ignored me. After taking a photo and a little video of the beasty, I turned around on my bike and rode back the way I had come from to get back ahead of the big guy. As I rode by it (on the far side of the road, to maximize distance) it alerted on me. It’s head snapped to look straight at me, and it’s ears popped out from its sides. I continued past and a good distance down the road (we’d been warned to give all the wild animals a wide berth) and waited to see what it would do. I wasn’t terribly worried till I saw it wander down the fence line to a spot where the fence was partially collapsed and start to carefully step over it. It was almost comical, the care and precision the elephant took in getting over the fence without damaging it further. It could have walked right through it, had it wanted to, and the fence would have collapsed like balsa wood and dental floss. Once over the fence it didn’t come straight at me, it started to move toward the road directly in front of it. I relaxed a bit thinking it would just ignore me and continue across the road to the other side.

Don’t call him Dumbo

However as soon as it got to the road it turned and looked at me again. I started walking my bike backwards as its attention had refocused on me. Suddenly the 75 meters or so, between me and the pissy pachyderm didn’t seem like that much. After a few more steps across the road it decided it wanted to see how fast a monkey on a bicycle could ride, and it started charging at me. I immediately turned around and started pedalling my ass off in the opposite direction. After about 4-5 seconds it gave up the chase and lumbered into the bushes on the far side of the road. While it never got very close to me (maybe 50 meters) it was still very exciting in a “if I don’t pedal fast enough I’m going to be elephant toe jam” kind of way. Thus ended my first cycling encounter with an elephant. I did see two more elephants before getting into camp, but they were boring and just wandered along minding their own business. 

TDA Stage 66 – Elephant Highway

Well, as far as first full days in a new country go, this one was pretty impressive. The wildlife here in Botswana is pretty amazing. Over the course of our 171km ride I saw a pile of wildlife. The animal count for the day was 11 giraffe, 3 zebra, 2 ostrich, 2 cuda (sp?), 50+ impala, 4634 baboons and zero elephants. I’d complain about false advertising, but other cyclists saw the elusive pachyderms, so they do exist. I just wasn’t in the right spot, at the right time. 

Giraffe, giraffe, giraffe, ZEBRA!!

The road was nice and straight and flat, so it made for good animal watching conditions. Some riders don’t like the straight and flat as it can become boring, but that’s not an opinion I share.

One of the interesting things about this particular section of road is parts of it have been purpose built to double as a runway for airplanes. When I saw the first sign that said “Airstrip 1km” I naturally thought that somewhere up ahead there would be a turn off for a small airfield. However, instead of that, the road just continued on and all of a sudden widened out to two times its original width with “no parking” and “no stopping” signs all over it. I’d be curious to see what types of planes use the strip and why, but there weren’t any around. I don’t imagine it gets used very often as a runway, especially since there are no facilities for refuelling or even turning the plane around. They are probably more of emergency landing spots. A cool idea though. 

We are camped at what’s been labeled as “Elephant Camp” and have been told that in the past elephants have wandered right through camp at night. Maybe I will get to see one today. 

I wonder if that includes me?

TDA Stage 65 – Just Relax

Today was a simple day. Ride 70km, cross a border, ride 10km, go on a river safari, eat food, go to bed. The details are a bit more interesting. We started as we do every day following a rest day, early rider meeting (Groan!). That means I need to get up extra early in order to have my gear packed before the meeting starts. Since the day was short and we were crossing the border, we did a packed lunch that we carried with us on our bikes. It’s not something we’ve done before so I had to make room in my bike bag to accommodate the extra food. With that done, it was off on the road again. Three days off the bike was a welcome rest and I’d have loved one more just to get over my bungee-lag but that was not to be. The 70km to the border whizzed by and I was there in no time. Despite being a complex border between four different countries, it was super fast. Stamp exit Zambia, hop a tiny truck ferry across the river, stamp entry Botswana, done! No fees, nothing. All borders should be this simple. 

Squeeze on two trucks and the juice of two or more cyclists.

Then it was just a matter of 10km to camp, set up my tent, get some things out in the sun to dry and head out on a river safari. Most of the riders opted into the short three hour safari including myself. Sure, I’ve done safaris before, but never on a river. About 40 of us (staff included) hopped on a really big double decker pontoon boat and cruised down the Chobe River into Chobe National Park.

He eats almost as much as me.
It’s just rubber, right?

The riverside and large island in the middle of the river had animals all over the place. Elephants, hippos, buffalo, impala,  crocodile, fish eagles and dozens of other kinds of birds. We cruised around in perfect weather until the sun set on a beautiful grassy horizon. 

Are you sick of these yet?

We finished the day with my favourite TDA dinner, spaghetti and meat sauce. The perfect end to a great day. Tomorrow we get back to the long rides as we work our way across Botswana. 

Oh, and finally, there may not be a posting for a day or two. Since we arrived in Botswana on a Sunday, I couldn’t get a new SIM card, so I’m relying on camp WiFi which often doesn’t exist. Might take me a day or two to get a new SIM.